Apologies for the delay in writing the next instalment of my blog. I have been out of hospital for about 10 days convalescing at home. It is good to be at home, surrounded by familiar things. I can sit on the couch and cuddle up with the dogs.
My brother has been here for the past week on his mid-semester break. He last saw me on the day I found out I was probably going to need brain surgery so he has seen a significant deterioration in my health since he went to Vietnam.
My left arm is now completely numb. It feels like it has gone to sleep. The numbness is spreading down my left side to my ear, torso and leg. I am unable to get up off the lounge by myself. I need to be lifted up. I have fallen over a couple of times and been unable to get myself off the floor. There are concerns about me hitting my head if I fall and bleeding badly because I have been on blood thinners for my lung clots for over a month now. My brother kindly suggested I get some Jonathan Thurston headgear to protect my noggin. As if I don’t look ridiculous enough as I am at the moment.
The cough and breathing difficulties have improved. I still become quite breathless after I have to move around. But I no longer feel like that lymph node on my chest is trying to strangle me. My eyesight is getting worse. I am typing this in bed with one hand and a squinty eye at 2am.
I keep hearing my Sydney medical oncologist’s voice in my head when she told me last year that when things go downhill with this disease, they go downhill very quickly. I feel like I am skidding down that hill at the moment and I am desperately looking for some kind of brake.
I am having weekly chemotherapy so hopefully something kicks in there soon. I wish I had something more uplifting to tell you. I can tell you that I still want to be here and I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay around for as long as possible.My brain is functioning fine most of the time, but my body just seems to get a bit weaker each day.