To blog or not to blog? That is the question.
A few people have tried to encourage me over the past couple of years to start blogging about my experiences, my ‘journey’ (ugh), or my self-discovery through a diagnosis of cancer (and there is no self-discovery so what’s the point?).
Others have discouraged me and I’ve been on their side. Who needs another blog about cancer? The internet is littered with thousands of blogs by people with cancer, many of which suddenly end when the person gets bored writing about it because they’ve got better and have more important things to do with their lives (and who could begrudge someone that?) or they die.
I have been guilty of voraciously reading a few of these blogs with a morbid curiosity, especially when written by someone with the same cancer as me. So, she was this old when she was diagnosed, this is when things went really wrong, and this is how much longer she survived for … so if I compare myself to her, how long have I got? Yes, it’s a very sick thing to do. I know.
In writing about my experiences, who would I be writing it for? It’s been suggested it’s a good way of keeping people informed of what’s happening with me. But I already do that through emails, text messages and Facebook posts to keep my nearest and dearest and far-flung friends and acquaintances up-to-date. Do I need another communication channel – a very public communication channel?
It doesn’t have to be a blog about cancer, people tell me. I could write about my other interests. I could share baking recipes and tutorials with people. I could write about my travels and what it’s like trying to take a holiday with cancer (she can be a bit of a crappy travelling companion, but not impossible to tour with). I could write about my dogs and what it’s like trying to holiday with them (it can be hard, truthfully, and most likely only of interest to me).
I guess I’ve only really seriously considered blogging in the past few months. There are pros and cons, so let’s take a look at them.
And yet, here we are. Here I am confessing what might be my most innermost thoughts* in a public space where anyone can find them. Maybe I can provide a unique perspective on living with a breast cancer diagnosis: Hey, it’s not as scary as you think. Other people’s accounts I have read delved into the struggle and juggle of coping with a diagnosis while also being a good wife and mother. I don’t have that baggage so my way of coping is far more selfish. It’s more ‘yes it is ok to stay in bed today if you want to’, ‘why not watch another TV baking show’, and ‘my greatest fear is that my friend will have to wipe my bum one day when I no longer can’.
Introducing … Life is too short to skip dessert. That’s a big call, I know, and I don’t always agree with it. Sometimes I don’t actually feel like dessert. Sometimes I’d prefer to round off a meal with cheese or nothing at all.
I needed to come up with a title for my blog so I was trying to think about what my life philosophy would be. Given my past, present and potentially future life experiences (and my partiality to sweet things), I think it is that life can be short. No one knows how long they’ve got. Take chances and risks. Do what you want to do. Eat the dessert if you want to eat it. Eat all the cookies. Why deprive yourself? Don’t regret anything. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes we make good decisions and sometimes we don’t. For example, this blog – this might be a really bad decision.
* most likely pretty shallow thoughts